Eating Blues at Hotel Sinu

Nothing grates on my husband and me more than feeding our children in the hotel room.  Here is a typical scene:

Happy music plays behind the lovely little children as they play.  Laughing, sometimes a bit of hair pulling, and weird noises and babble from my child who refuses to speak words fill the air.  One. Big. Happy. Family.

Then...

Scream from Rosa.

Time to eat!  Tim and I debate about who went through the feeding ritual last with Rosa, whom we shall refer to as Little Monster (LM for short) for the remainder of this entry, and then the unfortunate loser of the debate must strip not only Little Monster but him/herself in order not to mess up one of the few outfits that are still not stained, ripped, or destroyed by the Monteria "vacation."

Why must we do this?  Because the only high chair that exists in the hotel is too big even for our Katie and is locked away in the dining room with the oddest open hours.  So this animalistic ritual begins.

Once stripped, the losing parent and Little Monster head to the couch.  It is important to have the food jars ready to go and the special Little Monster spoon in place or she will scream louder and torture you for your lack of preparation.  Little Monster must have her food NOW.  Also important to have?  A roll of paper towels.  We will get to those later.

The eating commences.  Carefully, Loser Parent positions the food jar in a location that won't be tipped by Little Monster's flaling feet or be tempting for Katie to play with.  Usually, the first attempt is unsuccessful, resulting in the food jar full of oddly green mushy goodness tipping on the couch cushion, resulting in Winner Parent running to the bathroom for a towel to soak up the mess.

While Winning Parent works on the cushion, Loser Parent resumes the task of feeding Little Monster.  By this point, LM is whining because Loser Parent isn't feeding her fast enough.  Spoonfuls must come at a rate of 1 per 10 seconds or Little Monster isn't happy.  LM is normally fairly clean at this point, but once jar #1 is demolished, the tables turn.

Little Monster is still hungry, but is getting distracted by Big Sister.  Big Sister is usually making strange R2D2 noises at this point, doing high dives off of the chair, or whipping toys across the room - all amusing to Little Monster.  LM starts to whip her arms in all directions, and her legs kick happily.  This causes the spoon in Losing Parent's hand to fly, and once again, Winning Parent must clean the couch quickly to keep the green goop from staining the neon orange cushions.  Since spoon, arms, and legs are flying in all directions, food begins to end up on every limb and part of LM's and Losing Parent's bodies -

Now bring in the paper towels.  Losing Parent tries to salvage some dignity for giggling LM and Losing Parent by wiping some of the gooey goodness dribbling down his/her legs, chest, and arms and LM's...well...everywhere, including some heading down into the dark domain of LM's diaper.  To Losing Parent's dismay, this act is useless, for only seconds later, limbs fly and goop covers everything, adding a second layer to the sticky mess already on Loser Parent's skin. 

Loser Parent begins to boil and looks in dismay at the baby food still remaining in the jar.  Half a jar left!  Then he/she looks at Little Monster.  Little Monster grins with a layer of green goop lining her lips (a nice picture of the future when she plays with Mommy's lipstick...that will be another blog entry) and dripping from her two top teeth. 

Then...

Little Monster giggles and starts to spit.  Goop flies in all directions.  Loser Parent cries out and grimaces.  Little Monster thinks that's funny.  Little Monster spits some more.  More goop flies. 



Little Monster

 Then another sound fills the air.  A little party has begun in Little Monster's diaper in a chorus of toots.  Little Monster grunts and pushes, turning beat red.  Loser Parent stares in terror at the diaper that is too big because Little Monster is so small.  Will it hold? 

Desperate, Loser Parent flies to the bathroom, placing Little Monster on the floor.  Little Monster is happy now.  She is covered in green goop, her party is over, and she is about to be thrown into her favorite part of the day...bath time.

Loser Parent sighs in defeat and sinks to the floor...dreaming of high chairs.  Luckily, Winning Parent gets to take his/her turn at this ritual for lunch...giving Loser Parent time to recover before dinner.