Okay, this is a blog asking for help from the folks who have adopted out there (and families with siblings!). I've got two amazing little girls sleeping near me who are, of course, very different. Little Rosa is as sweet as pie and cries only when she needs something - be it food, diaper change, sleep, or a little extra love from Mommy and Daddy. Katie, on the other hand, is struggling with not getting attention 100% of the time from Mommy. I know she has cycles of need that she needs to go through with us, but I cannot pick her up every time she cries because sometimes I am feeding Rosa her bottle, and honestly, sometimes Rosa needs one-on-one Mommy time too. Katie is not at the point where she prefers Daddy and will sometimes scream when he goes near her.
I think she thinks I'm going to want Rosa more than her and will leave her behind. However, I want her to know I love her forever and will never leave her (something I know will take months to establish) but somehow I need to set boundaries so that I can do that with Rosa, too. She gets so upset whenever I'm holding Rosa. I want to comfort her, and I play with her hair, hug her, and tell her in my broken Spanish that it will be okay and I love her, but she seems to only want to be held.
Any ideas what to do? I know the normal rules for sibling rivalry, but when you throw in Cycles of Need - that's where I'm not sure what to do! We also want her to accept Tim more as well and aren't sure about that.
Anyways, sorry for the rambling, but I was just curious as to your opinions on this.
Thanks,
Ginny (Tired Mommy but more in love with my girls that ever)
The one thing that we did was Dave would take Angelica for short walks (sometimes just across the street to the store), play with bubbles in the hall, etc. just so Brian & I could get his homework done. Also maybe let Katie help hold Rosa's bottle, etc. Angelica wanted no part of me when we first got her (at the ICBF Office she clung to Brian as if her life depended on it), then Dave and last was me. Very difficult on me but by the 2nd day she bonded with me and has never looked back. Things are all new and Julie told us repeatedly that Toddlers have the most difficult time with the transition. They are not old enough to understand exactly what is going on but old enough to understand that something is changing. Hang in there..it will get better! That is why the stay in Colombia with just you guys and your girls is so important and valuable!! We are thinking of you guys!!
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